Rolling Heads

Pakistan Army is invincible; except in wars against foreign aggression or local insurgents. In these two situations it is helpless. It acts like a wailing child who, in between his uncontrollable tears, threatens to tell mommy.

That’s what has been proved since Lal Masjid incident until now and before that in three and a half wars against India. Nevertheless, rest assured no matter what happens no general will ever lose his job because he blundered. He will lose his job only when he becomes a serious liability for other generals. Because it’s all business. Even then this general will enjoy full immunity from any legal proceedings. Point in case: Musharraf.

We quit 1948 war, left the task incomplete; we started and lost 1965 war and lied to the entire nation and perpetuated that lie by celebrating Defence Day on every September the 6th ever since. We lost half the country in 1971. We dug a hole ourselves in 1999 and got stoned in it; and stonewalled diplomatically. Tell me how many generals lost their jobs that can be historically acknowledged as a result of all these “little” incidents? Has any general ever been arrested or tried for any blunder causing thousands of civilian and military deaths?

After alleged killing of Osama bin Laden in Abbotabad – which was a clear military attack on country’s soil, a declaration of war by US against Pakistan – the first thing military wanted the public to know was that “no heads will role”. Translation: “Do not expect any general to lose his job for such serious failure of intelligence and inability of the military to defend the sovereignty of the country.” Many politicians would have been more than happy to try and hang Raymond Davis if it weren’t for Pakistan Army’s everlasting bittersweet love affair with USA that saved their illegitimate child that killed two Pakistanis on Pakistani soil at point blank in cold blood. Davis killed two Pakistanis like cattle and guards of his jail cell were not allowed to carry their duty weapons.

After the deliberate slaughter of 24 Pakistani soldiers by NATO air power I do not expect any positive steps from military brass. Sooner than later everything will be business as usual. This Army is Alzheimer’s patient when it comes to USA and its allies. I truly believe that those 24 Shuhadaa had neither the weapons nor orders to defend themselves from NATO’s murderous aerial fire power. At this point the least the Army could do is roll the heads of General Kiayni and General Pasha and start an inquiry against them for not acting against foreign aggression.

The Oasis of Democracy

When it comes to undeserving flattery, our bureaucrats and diplomats do it with the utter stupidity of a court jester without realizing the kind of embarrassing position that their naïve attempts to secure their seats are putting Pakistan in. After all their appointment letters did not designate them national clowns. The latest example of such epic foolishness comes from our High Commissioner to UK, Wajid Shamsul Hassan, and his interview with CNN correspondent under the shadow of yet another national embarrassment – death of 24 soldiers by the NATO forces and Pakistan’s helplessness in its face.

During the interview when asked to comment on NATO attack on Pakistani outposts, Mr. Hassan found it important for “broader national interest” to kiss the stinky behinds of the rulers of the ruling party. Instead of highlighting grave diplomatic and military implications of such open aggression and its effects on Pakistan’s ever so fragile democracy, which is already crippled by perpetual corruption, he went on to call Pakistan “the Oasis of Democracy in the region”. The utter shock and disgust mixed with disbelief on the face and in the voice of the interviewer is impossible to describe in words. In a typical sarcastic tone, which can be observed in a western born female only, she queried, “Pakistan is the Oasis of Democracy in the region?”

Despite living in the UK and supposedly working as Pakistan’s diplomat over there, Mr. Hassan seemed unaware of vocal and tonal expressions of the locals as he looked completely unaffected by the obvious and razor sharp sarcasm in the voice and the words of the interviewer. He kept on talking, shamelessly. This whole part of his mindless rambling can only be translated as following: “Pakistan is the Oasis of Democracy in the region because Mr. Zardari is in charge of this democracy.” I have never seen such poor choice of words even by the world famous lingual disaster former president of US George W. Bush. Pakistani politicians are famous for losing wars in table talks. Now you know why. Diplomacy is a war of words and with such commanders at the helms of our frigates we are doomed to failure.