Spreading Islam: Why Taliban Kill Muslims

Spreading Islam. It’s a funny little phrase. Sounds a bit naughty. Believe me, it is. But Taliban of every sort would argue that it is better than spreading cheeks in public or spreading legs for every warm body.

It is not so nice of Taliban to kill so many Muslims like cockroaches and make silly excuses like Jews do claiming anti-Semitism: “They looked at us the wrong way.” “They talked about us, which we are sure was disparaging to us in some way.” You have to understand that behind their petty indiscretions like indiscriminate massacre of Muslims and innocent little excuses afterwards is hiding a purpose which is larger than all of us. “How could the killing of followers of Islam be is spreading Islam?” you might ask. Come on! Ask away! I have the answer ready.

You see, there are many Muslims in this world, over a billion or so. Obviously most of them are not good Muslims by any definition devised by Taliban. Islam is like a cake. A very delicious cake, all chocolate with chunks of dry cream sprinkled on top. With too many bad Muslims claiming a share in this cake – I mean Islam – there is not enough to go around among the Muslims whose names can fit in about 6% rows of an average computer spreadsheet. Good Muslims, for obvious reasons, should get bigger share than bad Muslims. Therefore, Taliban, by killing bad Muslims, who seem to be as many as cockroaches in the world, are dividing the cake of Islam over the population of a few good Muslims in bigger pieces. Then why would they kill non-Muslims, especially westerners? It is very easy to understand. By killing non-Muslims Taliban kill two cockroaches with one bullet (or bomb if they so choose). One less non-Muslim doesn’t just mean one less infidel. It also means one less potential Muslim or one less potential claimant of the cake known as Islam. Among the targets of Taliban, non-Muslim victims account for less than 20%.

Failure to kill an infidel is also a kind of success. Any attempt to kill infidels that is successfully thwarted instills a kind of fear and hate in the beating hearts of potential victims and their sinful society that they not only make life hell for bad Muslims living among them – latter almost renounce their Islamic faith (fewer Muslims, yes!) just to survive in that evil society – but also forswear any possibility of ever exploring murky waters of a savage cult and/or ever becoming Muslims.

For Taliban, it’s always win-win or, in some cases, win-win-win situation.

Happy Kaboom!